Good day all! I find that there seem to be a lot of morons out there who think that, because the government gave them a certificate at some point, they should be flight instructors. To you non-flyers that’s like the 90-year-old who’s blind in one eye, can’t hear, heart “knock-knock-knockin’ on Heaven’s door” who thinks that since he got driver’s license number 4 in 19-whatever he should still be driving his 40-foot land yacht to the grocery store - at 15 MPH. Just because someone told you that you could do it once doesn’t mean you can do it forever or that you’re really even that good at it in the first place.

Those of you who know me well know that I love flying. I have now been involved in it for more than half of my lifetime. It means something special to me, and I just can’t stand to watch the idioti screw it up. Venting complete; on to the “how to recognize the stupids” list. (Note: Venting about to begin again.)

How To Recognize a Stupid Who Wants To “Learn You To Fly”

1. Ok, obviously, if they say “I’m gonna learn you to fly!” or something like it, run in the other direction.
2. You say, “So, what exactly is lift?” They respond, “That’s a complicated aerodynamic concept that engineers need to understand. You just need to know ‘up, down, left, and right’.”
3. They wear a fighter/bomber jacket with patches all over it but actually served as a cook on the U.S.S. Never-Flew-A-Plane.
4. They wear “Aviator” sunglasses and constantly look in the mirror or another reflective surface to see how awesome they look. (Also applies to point three above.)
5. Annoying overuse of the terms “finesse” and “stick-and-rudder” without ever really explaining what either means.
6. You say “...flight simulation...” They respond, “...waste of time...” or (my favorite) “...simu-huh?...”
7. Complete unwillingness to work with you on the ground to help you understand flight maneuvers or concepts.
8. Believes GPS is an unproven, somewhat magical system (like a mechanical unicorn or jabberwokey) that is out to make pilots stupid. (Ironic...yes indeed.)
9. You ask to see the lesson plan for the flight and the instructor either stares at you blankly or insists that “it’s all up here” while pointing to the side of his head.
10. When you catch the instructor in a mistake, he denies the mistake and tries to convince you that you are an idiot because he is the instructor. (Don’t worry, his gigantic ego takes a hit; you just can’t see it because, if you are within 2 miles of his geographic location, you are actually inside his ego.)

So, use this guidance well, and steer clear of bad flight instructors. Find a good instructor who can keep you excited and engaged throughout your training. Become an instructor yourself and join the fight to rid the world of the stupids!

You know why learning to fly is so great? It’s okay; there isn’t really just one answer to that question. Honestly, my answer to that question probably changes on a daily basis. Today though, the best thing about learning to fly is the resultant impact that the process has on your brain.

I’m in the process of a major revision to audio reviews for the Private certificate and Instrument rating here at Gleim. As I’m going through the existing files and making my changes and moving things around, I’m struck, once again, by how much raw information pilot applicants really need to know. In the case of this project, I am building scripts primarily around preparation for the FAA knowledge tests. As is usually the case though, I find myself wandering down rabbit trail after rabbit trail in search of the “end” of a given topic. After some very interesting and satisfying self-lecturing, I have to remove myself from the material and realize that I’ve gone way too far down a road that is well beyond my intended scope. There really is so much information there. It’s all important to various degrees, but in pilot training, it is important to not get bogged down in minutia to the extent that we miss the core knowledge we’re trying to convey.

I remember knowing nothing about aviation – just looking up in the sky and thinking “wow, how does that even work!?!” Now, I’m teaching other people how it works. A good pilot understands that learning doesn’t (or at least shouldn’t) stop when the pilot certificate is issued. That’s really the point where you can get out there and add some practicality to all that academic stuff some over-excited CFI (finger pointed at self) poured into your brain. I’m still learning, and, luckily, there are some great teachers out there. The best of them admit they are still learning too, and that’s really the way it should be. You stop learning in aviation and you start forgetting.

Science hasn’t confirmed it yet, but I feel confident that soon we will be able to identify the aviation lobe of the brain. Only pilots will have one. It will be full of equations and acronyms and weather charts and checklists, but the resource it will hold in the greatest abundance is a passion for learning, improving oneself, and grabbing the controls of a flying machine and ripping off into the sky – smiling all the way.