My greatest fear is that I will somehow screw up my kids in some irreversible way that causes them great harm and me great guilt for their entire lives. My wife has this fear ever more deeply rooted than me, often breaking down into tears wondering whether or not we're doing this parenting thing right, or at least well enough to get by. The real fear for me is not how they behave or think or feel while they are under my roof. I think my wife zones in more on that aspect of it. For me, the real dilemma is dealing with how they act when I can't get to them, when I can't directly direct them, when they are on their own.
This whole post came about because of two factors: 1) A long conversation I had with the wife on the way home from dropping our kids off with their grandparents for a week, and 2) The deplorable behavior of four young girls that I got to personally witness just last night while attempting to order some dinner. The first factor involved a detailed discussion on where we feel we're doing a good job with the kids and where we feel we need to improve. We're relatively young, and we don't live near any of our other family members (thus the week with the grandparents), so we feel a little cut off from outside perspective or influence - not that that is necessarily a bad thing. We had a good chat that led to a few eye-openers on both sides. We both felt a great deal better about the whole situation. Then, I went to get dinner.
So, fresh on the heels of worrying about how my kids will behave for a week without parental influence, I went to the local Subway to grab a few sandwiches to accompany the me/wife movie marathon event. (We really party when the kids are away.) There, in line ahead of me, are four teenage girls. They are all actively engaged in texting or talking about texting while simultaneously being extremely rude to the two guys working the counter. One girl, who appeared to be the youngest, repeatedly yelled at one of the employees, twice asking him if he were "stupid 'r somethin'." None of the girls were paying attention to his requests on how to make their sandwiches and one actually chastised him for interrupting her conversation with one of the other girls, which was "so rude; don't you have manners; gah!"
These girls severely backed up the line and made everyone angry. The guys working the counter took the blame for the delay and behaved in a top-notch fashion - especially considering that neither was far removed from the teen years themselves. I joked around with one of the guys, who was obviously dazed and angered by the group. Many of the other customers were not polite due to their frustration with the young ones, which is also sad.
After all was said and done, I got back in my car and drove home, half in disbelief and half in terror. The thought of either of my girls behaving so rudely made me nauseous. The parent in me wonders what, if anything, their parents and families were doing to instruct these girls on how to behave in public. The less rational side of me wanted to punch them all in the face. Regardless, if you're a parent, and you actually care about your kids, you want them to represent themselves and you in a positive manner when they're in public. These four excelled at the opposite.
I will keep working hard on my girls because I love them. I am proud of them, and I want other people to see how great they are too. Kids will be kids (whatever that means), but I want mine to be good kids, even when I'm not around.
So, fresh on the heels of worrying about how my kids will behave for a week without parental influence, I went to the local Subway to grab a few sandwiches to accompany the me/wife movie marathon event. (We really party when the kids are away.) There, in line ahead of me, are four teenage girls. They are all actively engaged in texting or talking about texting while simultaneously being extremely rude to the two guys working the counter. One girl, who appeared to be the youngest, repeatedly yelled at one of the employees, twice asking him if he were "stupid 'r somethin'." None of the girls were paying attention to his requests on how to make their sandwiches and one actually chastised him for interrupting her conversation with one of the other girls, which was "so rude; don't you have manners; gah!"
These girls severely backed up the line and made everyone angry. The guys working the counter took the blame for the delay and behaved in a top-notch fashion - especially considering that neither was far removed from the teen years themselves. I joked around with one of the guys, who was obviously dazed and angered by the group. Many of the other customers were not polite due to their frustration with the young ones, which is also sad.
After all was said and done, I got back in my car and drove home, half in disbelief and half in terror. The thought of either of my girls behaving so rudely made me nauseous. The parent in me wonders what, if anything, their parents and families were doing to instruct these girls on how to behave in public. The less rational side of me wanted to punch them all in the face. Regardless, if you're a parent, and you actually care about your kids, you want them to represent themselves and you in a positive manner when they're in public. These four excelled at the opposite.
I will keep working hard on my girls because I love them. I am proud of them, and I want other people to see how great they are too. Kids will be kids (whatever that means), but I want mine to be good kids, even when I'm not around.